28.4.14

building a life of "musts" & gratitude monday


Happy Monday, friends! I hope that you had a restful and fun weekend. I wasn't the best blogger this weekend, as far as pictures go.. I'm sorry. I do have a few for you though! This was my second to last weekend living in San Diego. I kind of don't even know how to handle that and I definitely still haven't officially accepted that it's happening. 

I have this really bad habit of constantly looking forward to the next thing in my life. It's always the next break, big assignment due date, vacation, social event, or something exciting on my mind. Not really knowing what comes next has forced me to live in my own head a bit more than I like. It's part of that stretching and growing process, I think. I read this amazing article (here) and it has been on my mind a lot the past few days. I realized that I do a lot of what I "should" do, because those things are expected of me, and not so much of what I "must" do, the things that my heart leads me towards.

"Should is how others want us to show up in the world — how we’re supposed to think, what we ought to say, what we should or shouldn’t do. It’s the vast array of expectations that others layer upon us. When we choose Should the journey is smooth, the risk is small." -elle luna

Must doesn't suggest that we spend our days on the couch. That's not passion. Instead, must is fueled by our deepest desires and most authentic dreams. When must happens, our whole life is a symbol of unity. There is no compartmentalizing when your calling is what you live.

I think that's why I have been living like a different person the past week or so. I think I am slowly learning this language of must. I have lived here three years, finals is coming, graduation is coming, and I just can't pull myself away from these must activities that make my days worthwhile. The quests, commitments, and adventures that others don't understand. The things that I am called to do in my last days in paradise. They seem like the little things, but the little things make up this big thing called life, and days of shoulds just don't build a life that must be lived, remembered, and rewarded in the Kingdom. 

Welcome to my head. That's why I told you I don't like to spend too much time there! ;)

This weekend, I did my best to set aside the homework and expectations and wander into the streams of must. Must is the reason I went to the movies on Friday night with my friend, Casey. Must is why the most fulfilled feeling this weekend came from sitting in my bed, blogging, drinking my morning coffee while staring at the ocean out my window, and talking to my roommate while she works out. Must is why going to Whole Foods to indulge in some delicious food with my friends is at the top of my list of to-dos. Must is why I spent some good time with my yogis, teaching my final class. Must is why I spent my evenings at my favorite Starbucks, watching the community of people that I have been a part of for the past couple of years. These aren't big trips to the middle of nowhere without any means of communication, but they are the beginning of wanderlust. I still don't know too much about must, but I know that I crave deep friendships and long to be in the company of people I love. 

It sounds like a must to me.

Today I am grateful for the challenge of moving from should to must.

Are you living a life of should or must? 
What are you grateful for today?


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