a little lately and a lot of fear

Last night I dreamt that I was on a vacation to the rainforest and was attacked by an orangutan. That’s what normal kids dream of right? Being attacked by giant orange apes and then escaping in a yellow convertible that somehow got to the middle of the rainforest??


Here’s a glimpse of life lately:
  • I’ve been a bad student.
  • I’ve been a bad blogger.
  • I have lacked commitment in my friendships.
  • I have lived and slept in my gym clothes.
  • I had some kind of flu on Friday and couldn’t get out of bed.

I have been OCCUPIED.

There is nothing even remotely science-y to back this belief, but I think that dreams play a huge role in relaying messages to us in the chapters in life in which we are disconnected from our bodies. Sometimes, the only way that I can give my full attention is to go to sleep! {Side Note: Don’t try that one on your prof.. They won’t laugh…}

I didn’t know I was afraid of orangutans until I was running for my life in that dream.  Honestly, I don’t think I’m that afraid of them in real life, but I can still feel that rush of adrenaline that filled my veins as I raced through the trees in my dream. I find it captivating how well we know the emotion of fear. It can’t be described too well, at least not by me, but, when you feel it, you know that’s what it is. It paralyzes us. We can’t think things through and everything else in our lives fades black.

The truth is, I’ve got some serious orangutans that I am running from right now. Plenty. My mind is occupied by fear, so severely that I have let everything else fall out of sight. It’s not wrong; it just makes me human.

Fear makes me human, and it makes you human too. Being afraid of things makes you real. If we never knew fear, we would never know courage. Fear builds and sculpts us to be fit for our life’s calling. 

Some ways that I am learning to handle fear:
  •     Call the enemy out of the dark- acknowledge it.
  •     Lean on your friends. It shows them they can lean on you when they need to.
  •     Give yourself a break. Beating yourself up sacrifices your ally. You don’t need another enemy!
  •     Stop running and dig your heels in. Journal, converse, or meditate on it.  Give your fear the attention that it craves so you can move on.

Wherever you stand in your faith journey, I find comfort in the fact that the Bible says “Do not fear” 365 times within its pages. Give us this day our daily bread.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7

Don’t run from orangutans. And definitely don’t tell other people that you are running from orangutans when they ask how you are doing! You will get some silly looks.. :)

Have a great day!

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